This fall I will...

I intend to challenge myself. I am determined to relieve the pain in my back by doing what my Physical Therapist said to do, exercises to strengthen my upper back without over-straining my lower back. I am tired of not being able to sleep, drive, run, etc without a good amount of pain being involved preventing me from doing those activities, in moderation.

Currently my back is extremely sore, this is due to the exercises I've been given to do and am taking seriously. I really want things to change and I actually feel inspired enough to try. To exercise more (in moderation for my back), to work harder toward my future and fight for myself and people I care about. I want to be able to do the things that made me happy again and not feel obligated or pain from doing it. I want it to equally make me happy as it is good for me.

I feel so revitalized for some reason. Maybe its hope. Hope that I will feel and look relatively how I used to. I mean I could fly when I was running or feel beautiful in my own skin but that has faded into the background of my current situation of being an overweight 23 year old who hates wearing tank tops because her arms are huge, in a bad way, and who can't even run a mile without feeling pain or get it under 12 minutes when I used to be able to run 7 minute miles.

I have a long way to go and hopefully this feeling of determination will last me the time it takes to get into a routine and also to get back into shape enough where its not so challenging that I want to quit within 10 minutes.

Wish me luck, because lord knows I need it. Ha